When you married your spouse, you promised to cherish each other forever and you made vows that you will be together until “death do (you) part”. But as your marriage grows old both of you may have sensed signs and signals that may be among popular causes for divorce. A shock to you and your spouse, you realize that the vows you said on your wedding day may no longer stand true, thus you start to question your relation and your commitment. If you are reading this and are looking for ways to save your marriage please do not let all hope be lost, the truth is that there are always avenues, methods and unexplored ways with which you can make your marriage work again.
Top Ten Ways to Save Your Marriage
Marriage is the union of two people who promised to stay together, create a family together and be together. The beautiful words of love and eternal coexistence sometimes get taken for granted because some couples start to look in different directions. Once that happens life can become hard for the couple and children. Here we have listed for you the top 10 ways to save you marriage, which however small, could help you in taking constructive steps towards rebuilding your commitment, love and your marriage.
10. Listen to Each Other
Chances are you or your spouse may have not met each other’s demands or have stopped listening to each other. Even if your spouse speaks of more complaints than agreements, you should still try to listen.
9. Don’t Forget to Speak.
When you don’t tell your spouse what you really want or how you really feel, your relationship may start to take shape on assumptions or suspicion; a bad recipe for a rocky relationship. Don’t forget that you have to speak the truth, even if it may be against you. Do you best to be open-minded about what goes on in your life and allow yourself to talk about them.
8. Keep Your Clam
Being too anxious and aggressive when you feel your marriage is falling apart won’t help at all. Anger and aggressiveness are like salt on a bad wound; they only make things worse. Your partner may complain with disappointment, but as a person who is taking steps to save your marriage try to keep your cool and calm. When you listen and talk calmly, you give yourselves a better chance to think through solutions, become more persuasive and your words will be more effective.
7. Change What you Have to Change
Aim to change only what is deteriorating your relationship; starting with yourself. For example, if your spouse hated your habit of smoking, why not try to quit your addiction? You don’t have to change everything about yourself but you can definitely make minor adjustments to your lifestyle. For the things that you cannot change, you have to calmly talk about them and make your partner understand that there are things that defines who you are. But if you see something wrong with yourself when it comes to your relationship and you are honest about it why not correct it.
6. Strengthen on Your Past Love
Remember that before you met, you were both strangers to each other. Both of you have gone through the stages of getting to know each other and falling in love with each other. If you feel that you are becoming strangers again, revisit what sparked your relationship. Try to sit down after a good dinner and give yourself another chance to go over some past positives about your marriage.
When your spouse admits of having done something wrong, try your best to forgive. Remember that he or she has taken big steps to admit that they were wrong in the first place, and you too try to take a bigger one by forgiving. Don’t be too stubborn, your spouse has been honest and may now want to work with you to find a solution on how both of you can save your marriage.
4. Spending quality time with each other.
Try a simple date at a restaurant, take a tripe once in a while, if you don’t have the financial means even a simple dinner will do. Spend some time together, only the two of you, and feel each other’s presence. If you regularly spend quality time with each other you’ll find how important your spouse is to you and how valuable you are to him or her .
3. Writing it in a Letter
As cheesy as it seems, expressing your concerns in a letter or an email can be very effective at times. Writing letters lowers the possibility of immediate argument and anger; with a letter there won’t be a raised voice that can be intensify the problem. Writing allows both of you to expression your thoughts freely without being interrupted or being too shy to make a request. You may also decide to write a love letter – why not – If you could, write a poem, show your partner that they still mean a lot to you.
2. Parents and Older Family Members
Sometimes a simple guidance of your parents can be far more valuable than hours and days of argument. Try to consult both your parents (from both sides) to explore ways to save your marriage. After all, you parents have seen a few more years than you and brought you up since you were a child. So they know you well and could give you great direction in reconstructing your marriage. If for some reasons consulting parents is not an option, try other elder family members and relatives who you trust and admire.
1. Marriage Counseling Option: Ways to Save Your Marriage
Certainly there may be times for couples when neither of you can work out the wrinkles in your relationship by yourselves. You may have explored many of the ways to save your marriage as listed above but have hit a road block. That’s when you need the intervention and the guidance of a professional marriage counselor. Counselors can provide tremendous help in reconstructing and reshaping your marriage, whether to you alone or for both couples sometimes their help can be the golden token in saving a marriage.
Don’t forget to share the list of top 10 ways to save your marriage with friends who may need to read it.